July 9, 2008
Daisy found a brother or a husband?
Wow, It's been a week of heat, humidity and busy activity...still working on someone taking a picture of me in my wig...it's pretty, makes me feel pretty anyway... The rugs are done and the smell is gone. The couch that was in the basement is moved out and put at the end of the driveway and someone actually took it...gotta love NH! Daisy has found a home too...and nice family looking for a companion for their senior dog "Taz". They are cute together...both black...I told the kids Daisy is gaining a brother...Emily pointed out that maybe she gained a husband...hee hee, I guess she thinks they will now live happily ever after...if only my life happened that way....which ever it is...I'm glad she won't be lonely anymore. She deserves to be happy. The van is also up for sale...well at least it's listed on Craig's List...I still need to get a for sale sign for it. Oh and I got a new washing machine...it arrived today...so grateful for next day delivery with Sears! Finally, we can wash clothes again...and not lug them back and forth to my mom's!
Went to meet with the priest tonight with the hubby...he's on his own journey...one that I can not lead for him anymore...he needs to do it on his own...I will take a break from meeting with them again.
I will "let go and let God' at this point and hope that he moves towards the light. I will meet with my own therapist to help with my feelings and sort out my life a little bit. I praise the Lord for giving me gifts through this disease of cancer...hopefully I will live to be 97 and see the kids grow and have families of their own...but if I only have a shorter time on this earth I will not wait in anxious suspense for him to have an epiphany...but pray that he does, and pray that the mountain he needs to move will move when he is ready.
Have faith in God. Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours. When you stand to pray, forgive anyone against whom you have a grievance, so that your heavenly Father may in turn forgive you your transgressions. Mark 11:23-25
I am working on forgiveness daily...I have also been reading Psalms...I will not type it all here...but Psalms 136, 138, 139 and 143 hold me captive lately.
When I cried out, you answered; you strengthened my spirit. Psalm 138:3
The week ahead offers more chemo on Tuesday and a creative adventure with a friend...I embrace this opportunity to make an art piece for me...to help me to sort out my thoughts and feelings and make the process real, not all jumbled up in my head. I retrieved the dolls from my parent's house and that too will be focused on in the next few weeks...hopefully we will get some dramatic play with the kids leading the production on video soon.
Blessings to you all...the comments are all so wonderful and help me tremendously...thank you so much for taking time to write them!