July 30, 2008

Eblankies has the Cuddliest Blankies EVER!

Ok well my 2 cuddle bugs are going to have drop down drag out fight with mommy for this one...this blanket is amazing! It's so soft on both sides, made of Minky and so big! It's got amazing satin edging which Sara is using for color identification...
But most importantly Eileen gifted this to me to help me with my chemo appointments, upcoming mastectomy surgery and fatigue anticipated with radiation...Eblankies is a great team mate to have at EtsyKids

How do I repay this gift? How to I accept such kindness from strangers? It's a common conundrum (did I spell that right?) that other cancer patients face. But you know me...or maybe you will over time...i am there to help others and join forces and chip in to support other women all the time...and when my energy returns this amazing gift will be repaid when i pay it forward to others needing my help as well.
Can you tell that Ellie loves it?

Eileen also has a shop where she makes cool skirts...and if you look closely you will see that she is wearing the hottest new fashion statement...a bald head...she shaves it for her mom who is battling breast cancer. What an amazing daughter and sewer! Thank you Eileen...from the bottom of my heart...this will wrap me in hugs forever!

July 29, 2008

Back into the Etsy Groove...with M2M Boden USA!

A little Boden for your hair flair!...listed @ Happy House Quilts @ Etsy.com
This is Breast Cancer Awareness Ribbon bookmark is hot for back to school book worms!!!
I can't keep them in stock...listed at etsy shop

Walking with God every day of my life!

Who knew when I made this Hair Quilt (TM) months ago...that a tumor the size of an appricot was inside my body?! He has walked beside me, tip toed behind me, held my hand and carried me on certain days....but HE has never let me go!

I believe in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and I know He will bring me through this journey of cancer....my kids need me...and I have more work to do in this world...I'm not done yet!

Tired this week, and insomnia is back, headaches are back but mild, my mind races with everything i need to do...but no physical energy to do it all...trying to relax with friends more...but also have days where i just want to hibernate in the house and keep the world at bay.

BTW...i relisted the "Walking with God" clip...maybe it can help spread the word of Jesus Christ?!

July 26, 2008

Creativity is percolating in my soul!

Percolating...is that a good word? That's what it feels like...an old fashioned percolator with the hot water bubbling up into the coffee grounds...seeping the essence of the coffee and draining it down...i dunno...just what's in my head...i suppose i need another cup this morning, *giggle*.

Enjoy the pics...some of them offer auditions of fibers and other fabrics that will be added to the final piece...oh and the 3rd flower will have longer petals...just ran out of steam...
the petals, stems and leaves are all made out of my own hand dyed silk top that was made into silk paper via the silk fusion process. Pretty cool...I can't wait to see how it evolves once thread art get's added on top!!!
the cone part is a commercially dyed batik as is the background fabric...it was torn into 4 segments and then twisted for a pin wheel effect...that's the feeling anyway...i go where the wind takes me...but I never seem to leave the spot where I stand. It's a surreal experience having cancer...it's still hasn't totally sunk in yet.
just starting to open up...kinda like Sara...being 2 can be such an amazing time in a child's life...everything is an adventure!
oh yea...it's going to get embellished...how much is too much? More is more...right?

to put the chennille over or under for depth...hmmmm...decisions, decisions...I'm finally the one that get's to make all the decisions on this project...unlike my life...sigh.

July 25, 2008

RIP Randy Pausch - The last lecture and how it can impact a breast cancer patient.

Being Earnest...every day of your life! I want to be like Randy!

I have done a similar metaphor of the "brick wall" in Art Therapy sessions with patients in the past...and it's all about visualizing your obstacles, whatever they may be...for me it's breast cancer...drawing the problem or sculpting them...and then generating new solutions to overcoming them...either with an eraser or more clay and creating a way to work through them...this is what life is all about...it's about the journey not the destination...because, we are all going to die some day...most of us just don't know when or how.

BTW...I'm definitely a T-I-double ggh-er

Fun with old friends!

Here I am with my friends from college (NEC, class of 1989)...we had our annual reunion this weekend before my kids came home from the beach...oh it's go good to recharge my soul with supportive ladies that have known me through thick and thin! And i guess now we can say they have known me through baldness...hee hee... oh if anyone could have predicted this back in '85 when we first met and I had that big '80's hair...yikes!Several days later the kids came home and I got together will my BFF Sally and her 3 girls...here's a pic of all the kids together...out in front of Quilted Threads in Henniker...it's a quilt shop of course! I got some goodies for the kids here and at the Fiber Studio which are both in Henniker to do some projects with me...they are really needing some 1:1 time with mom...so what better thing to do than make special projects with each of them! Oh I'll have to show you the amazing necklace Emily made and ellie is working on a purse...we just need a certain someone to take a nap to really get crackin' on the sewing machine! Mommy made sara a little bracelet that look's like em's necklace but a little bit more toddler friendly. pics will follow soon.

July 23, 2008

God gave us the Rainbow!

This is what I saw at work last weekend....it was breath taking! And it's just another sign that God is never far from my side...Praise Jesus!This is Echinacea or purple cone flower....it's the inspiration to my new wall hanging that will incorporate mixed media...it's so exciting...wish i had more hours in the day...
So the kids are back and needy...as kids can be after being away from home...but their anxiety is a little greater...as they were away for a whole week and mommy is more tired...I missed them so much....my own anxiety is at bay now too...we had a great day today making some crafts and visiting with old friends in Henniker, NH...my most favorite place on the planet!

I am feeling well...tired...but well...this cycle has my side effects in my taste buds lingering a little longer...and still weepy at times...but my spirits are good and visits with good friends give me such comfort...i got to hang out with my college friends this weekend...it was FABULOUS! ( can you sing it to the HS musical song? hee hee)
This is me sporting some new hair fashion with the wig...I think it looks pretty good...

BTW I'm happy to announce that my shop at etsy is finally open...
...slowly i will try to make new designs and keep moving toward reopening the website...patience is appreciated during my hard days...but it's all good, goodness knows i can use the income to start my Christmas shopping...I'm guessing i'll be having surgery around then! Yippee, can't wait to get this tumor out of me!!!

July 18, 2008

I miss my kids!

Boo hoo for me...
Walked into their rooms to put some clothes away and saw their lovey's...Rabbi, dolly and blankie (they all took spares to the in-laws so they wouldn't loose them or leave them behind). Oh much sadness...empty house...but this self reliance will be good...it's not good for me to depend on them for emotional support...they are kids after all...and they need to be kids...yes...i can manage...I will have them in my arms in 3 more days! tick, tick, tick

July 17, 2008

Embracing the essence of me...vanity is so over-rated!

So finally a shot of me in my wig...whatdaya' think?I love it...it's the old me and I think it helps the kids when we are out in public...but I do appreciate that that is the old me...I will never be that person again...a new and improved me is being created....daily!
So yesterday was chock full...amazing what you can accomplish without 3 kids running around...Thank you to my in-laws for taking care of them and allowing them to escape me for a little while...a perfect beach vacation is where they are...nice!

Not only did I create during the day with Brian but I invited some friends over to help me shave my final hairs off my
head (it is bothersome under wigs and scarves) and to celebrate this occasion...there was Katherine's yummy red pepper jelly covered over cream cheese and the wine was flowing but i drank lots of water...it's better for my purging the toxins out of my body.
Here I am!
Brian just shared a poem from a friend of his, thank you to both!...author unknown

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple Love.

It cannot shatter Hope.

It cannot corrode Faith.

It cannot destroy Peace.

It cannot kill Friendship.

It cannot suppress Memories

It cannot silence Courage

It cannot invade the Soul

It cannot steal eternal Life.

It cannot conquer the Spirit.

Wow! Yup...that's what I think too!

I decided (upon someone's suggestion) that I should tattoo my bald head. the more i thought about it ....the more i loved the idea. I'm not a permanent type of girl so the henna tattoo kit found at Michael's worked out well. *giggle* so in my search for symbols for my wall hanging I came across a page for native american symbolic images. Lo and behold the turtle is a symbol for longevity and can represent the ability to defy death.
I had to have it on my head! Becky and Katherine embellished it a bit with swirls in a cross motif as I need to remember it's with Jesus Christ that I walk on this journey with. He has never left my side!Oh, and I had to have my flower...even without hair I needed the M2M Quilt Inspired accessory! :)

As I read my daily al-anon meditations I was compelled to share them with you...

"now I look for humor in every situation, and my higher power is a laughing God who reminds me not to take myself too seriously" Courage to Change

"Acceptance appears to be a state of mind in which the individual accepts, rather than rejects or resists: he is able to take things in, to go along with, to cooperate and be receptive." (Dr. Harry M. Tiebout)

This has resonated in my mind a lot...it's like trying to swim upstream...i will exhaust myself...i need to go with the current...nor can I swim out to rescue someone thrashing in the waves...I need to let the life guard save them...today I will let the Lord take care of those who seek him...I will work hard to seek him each day as it is amazing the gifts he shares with me. (my comments)

"A change of scene, a new interest, a creative undertaking-these are healing medicine for the troubled." One day at a time in Al-anon

"My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I have no power. I am building a wonderful life for myself today.
July 17 Courage to change

Blessings to you all!

July 16, 2008

Silk Fusion exploration!

Here is my sketch for the wall hanging...it's a work in progress it's already changed a bunch of times...but the 3 cone flowers are the basic compostition...the petals will hang free and I love that the plant is used for boosting the immune system as an herb...PERFECT! I am also intrigued with the use of 3...Father, Son, Holy Spirit, or past present and future...or my 3 girls...or I'm sure if given time, i could analyze it some more. The green silk will be for the leaves and the pinks for the flower petals...going to use brown corderoy and other textiles too, cheese cloth, velvet, organza maybe...oh so much fun...

I'm claiming this disease...it will not claim me!This bit of textile is silk fusion...so much fun to make today with a fellow artist...Brian...
this one is destined for echanasia petals on a wall hanging I'm planning on hanging over my bed...once i rearrange the furniture...
Here is a link to more info on how to accomplish this adventure into textile art!!! Create from within!

...here is my silk fusion for the leaves
this was just fun playing with the colors...not sure what will happen to it...maybe etsy will see it someday for sale???

this might be more petals not sure yet...
more playing with color...the blue is a electric bamboo that brian shared with me...isn't it georgous?
Here is Brian a friend that Kim (aka Deedaloos) introduced me to...such a kindred spirit!
He had many of the supplies gathered for me as he knows all the coolest shops up and down the eastern seaboard! You are too cool for color TV Brian!
Breaking apart the silk cap
Brian laying out his wine fibers
netting layed down on both sides and medium sponged on
new sheet with new yummy colors...more of brian's work
here are brian's final products...he even rubber stamped over some of it with lumier paints...so fun...obviously it was easier to take pics of him while he worked...it was a blast...THANK YOU brian so much...to see what brian does on the side...check out this
look for more of his patters and seminars on the site! Whoo hoo...what a talented guy!

Chemo cycle 3

Here I am at the infusion room...got a reclining chair this time...had a couple of guys sit next to me and got to chat a little. Becky unfortunately couldn't stay with me as the medicines might have been dangerous for little Katelyn...but here they are anyway for a photo op!
thanks so much becky for coming with me on the ride and driving me home...i was sooooo tired!
BTW...can you tell that I am stylin' some hair under that crocheted Deedaloos original hat? Well my new friend Lea who I met at the golf course where I now work has an aunt that has a shop in Maine that sells all sorts of wig and breast augmentation paraphernalia. A Special Place is a wonderful spot to find all sorts of things, should you be in need.

The hair extension is really suppose to be bangs...but I really like it peaking out from under the hat in the back of my neck. Options are good!

So nuts and bolts of the past 3 weeks...cycle 2 wasn't that bad...no lying in bed like I got hit by a truck on day 4 and no migraine like head ache either on day 7. Insomnia was my worst friend.

What we did different is Dr. Kaufman tapered my steriod to have it be 2 pills the day before, 2 pills the day of, and 2 pills the day after...but then one pill the next day and one pill the day after that...also I need to pay attention to the timing and take them early morning and/noon...taking them too close to bedtime makes for some horrible insomnia. I forgot this part and took them at morning and bedtime and it wasn't fun...but the insomnia seemed to last throughout the time even beyond the steriod use...but that might have been the stress of moving back home and cleaning or rather scrubbing the smell of dog out of the carpets.

He also prescribed me a higher dose of Alieve to help with the achiness secondary to the Nulasta injection I get on day 2 after the infusion...Megan (RN) does that...what a dear person she is to help me out and keep me from driving all the way back to the hospital just for a 2 minute shot. It makes a huge difference...the insurance company has it shipped to me directly to the house in a refrigerated container...the injection is worth $3000...YIKES! But it boosts my white blood cells to help me fight off infection through out the in between time. And it's definitely cheaper than having me hospitalized for fever or something worse!

So today I"m a little tired...creativity with Brian was fun...but will post about that later...and hopefully tonight I'll get my head tatooed with Henna...not sure who will come over...but while the kids are away ....I need to feed my mommy soul!

Oh and before I forget...Dr. Kaufman shared a cool link with me...a local hike that will help to raise money for the Cancer Center (Norris Cotton Cancer Center) where I get my treatment. It's called Expedition Inspiration...a hike up Mt. Major near Alton Bay with views over Lake Winnepesaukee...maybe I'll do it? who knows...i'm not the hiking type...but lately I think I can do anything...as my Lord walks with me all the way!

Blessings to you all!

July 14, 2008

The creative process begins...dying silk top today

The kids are off to my in-laws for the week, chemo is tomorrow all day with Becky...will have to take pics of us wild women at the infusion station...oh with cutie-pie katelyn too...but for the rest of the day I am dyeing to share my new Art Therapy process with you all...the dolls are still hanging out...will get back on track with them when the kids return...but this project is for me...it will be a mixed media wall hanging for over my bed to infuse the bedroom with new energy. Stay tuned...

He went shopping for me too and got me the silk top and silk caps already dyed...I LOVE THE FUSHIA!!!
These are the dyes I used and I got them at the Elegant Ewe in Downtown Concord, NH
I am so excited to move on this project as I need the infusion of creativity as well as infusion of chemo meds!!!

more pics added..

finished silk tops...with flash on the camera...the colors are hard to capture on film......without flash but a little blury...and I did some extra wool from another project...I love the curly strands...hope they get put into the quilt...
somehow...it's all good and I'm not trying to expect too much...but let the process take me where I need to go! Create from within everyone.

July 11, 2008

I will make my house shine!

I found this clip from you tube by typing in Empowerment.
Empowerment through Art Documentary - Uganda, Africa...

The story touches me as I am an EtsyMom and our newsletter is called EMpowerment but I am also an art therapist and what this clip demonstrates is the power of creativity to bring people of all cultures to a new place...new emotions. This week my kids are going to visit my in laws...and I will have some time to create a piece for my bedroom...a piece that i intend to hang over my bed to give the space new energy...we'll see how it transforms my sense of empowerment over cancer. I've been very tired lately...hoping to use this time to rejuvenate my creative soul!
blessings, to all creative souls...go get crafty!

Generosity of Strangers!

these bracelets are beautiful and I wanted to share the link to anyone interested in them.
They are just so different that other bracelets that I've seen...and yes, I've been more aware of them lately, they are everywhere...but why buy a mass produced one when, if you really wanted one...it could be hand made by an EtsyMom!
Thanks, Anhoki!

July 10, 2008

Hold my hand and see me through this night....

Wow a dear local friend has been sending me some wonderful emails...encouraging me to read scripture and delve into my soul for deeper understanding of how Christ works through me and through others close to me. She just sent me a link to youtube.com with a wonderful song by a singer, Fernando Ortega...

I wish I could enbed the song...but it won't allow me to...so I will post the link...just remember to come back and read some more...or listen some more...