Day 7 Cycle 1 chemo Update

I was smiling on wednesday when they put the IV in me...but by Saturday I was soooooooooooo SAD!!! You know the feeling when you have had a pony tail in your hair for a long time and then you take the pony tail out...and your scalp is sore?
Well...
My whole body felt like that...from my scalp down to my toes...joint achiness, muscle aches, overwhelming sadness....weepiness took over....i was a MESS! I just wanted to crawl into a whole ...and not die...cuz that's what this is all about right?

NOT dying!!!???

so the days since have been a little better without so much achiness but the exhaustion is heavy and the sadness is present all the time...i just want to cry if anyone talks to me....
Calgon take me away....please! The kids are doing pretty good...dd#1 is being perfect....which totally scares me...she's even doing extra homework sheets with out being asked...she needed some extra help with her math...so she is doing it nightly! I'm keeping an eye on her!

dd#2 is a total whiner lately...but maybe she's feeling my pain and wants to just identify with me and my foggy head...she's more absent minded than usual...but they all can't be so well adjusted right?

dd#3 is potty training and is looking for a "TWEET" any chance she can get...a tweet=treat=m&m candies...one for sitting and one for doing her business....she's only 2! well she'll be two in 2 days...my other kids didn't potty train till 2.5 and over 3 years....something is going right!

Gratitude? someone told me to keep a happiness journal...what a good idea, btw!
I am grateful today to have a wonderful friend come up from NY and visit me this weekend. She came on Sunday and left today. It was so comforting to have her close by. My taste buds weren't awful last night and we went out to dinner and i got some yummy mashed potatoes with cheddar cheese melted on top form TGIFridays...worth a try...believe me!

I added the pic from a recent family portrait I had done with my mom and the girls. Obviously this was the old hair...boo hoo. I also wanted to let folks know the comments and wonderful positively positive ideas are priceless...what wonderful gifts! Thank you all so much! ~Jodi

To find more posts about my Art Therapy with my kids as I battle breast cancer...click here.

To find more posts about my journey through breast cancer...click here.

To find more posts about my chemo updates...click here.
(psst...this is the first one...so more to come soon!)

Chemo not so bad so far...sneak peek to hair cut too.

Day one of chemo...right before it started...as you can see..i'm smiling! But even after it was done I was just a little bit tired...not too bad. I'm on anti nausea and steroids that are keeping my energy level up and I had a NuLasta shot today to help stimulate my bone marrow to make more white blood cells for days 7-12 when i will see a dip in white blood cell counts and will be highly immuno-suppressed...it's going to get hard with 3 germy kids running around....but the bright side is that it's summer and not winter in NH with cold and flu season. :)Shirley and Jill were the "comfort cart" volunteers this week. They visit with a cart once a week to the infusion unit. What a nice thing to do...I also got to experience Reiki which is a healing energy art form led by 2 other volunteers...i'll have to update this again with their names...I've misplaced them. The ice cream was a nice start to my chemo regime...too bad I can't get it more often.

To donate to the Breast Cancer program at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center...follow this link.
I'm not sure if you can directly go to the breast care center but this was all done at the infusion chemo room...so many Norris Cotton Cancer patients will benefit :) Thanks in advance!

So here is the new hair do...I haven't had my hair this short since fifth grade when my mom cut my hair to look like Dorothy Hamill...oh back in the day it was all the rage. My oncologist saw my hair cut and said it was still too long and that it might be shocking when it falls out in clumps but...at least it was a good first step....I guess you will all get to see me get the head shave too...I'll keep you posted if I'm not to modest to share them.



about 10 inches went to locks of love...not bad!


Here we were the other day (that's Becky with the medicine/angel/fairy doll) sewing up some new fleece hair...the burlad didn't cut it...and that's Karen with the monster doll with my 6 year old picking out eyes and sewing up the hole in her side.


Find more info about our Art Therapy Project with kids and Beating Breast Cancer, click here!

Update on Echinacea Wall Hanging: the symbolic representation of 3

Just a quickie update on my Art Therapy wall hanging....it's still a work in progress

The picture doesn't do it justice but the leaves are all needle punched on cotton batting, painting the color on with wool and silk as I went along, then i stitched them down to the quilt top using needle turn applique and stuffed them like in the technique trupunto...there is such a 3-D effect! The flower centers will be stuffed too...and the center flower petals will be free flowing...attached at the cone's base...i do hope i can get most of it done prior to surgery...beading will have to wait for another year...but that is in my vision too.

The "ground" is made of silk fusion in green and purple and then hand painted (by me) scrim was used to over lay and add further depth and texture...the painted scrim actually weaves through the center leaf (center bottom)...which is only attached at particular points on the quilt top.

I'll leave most of the self analysis out of the post for your ease of reading...I get a little carried away...but I will share the the symbolic representation of how the number 3 plays it's part in the composition...as it represents my past, present and future as well as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, oh yea, and my 3 girls and how it has impacted their lives...they are so little...blooming away despite this disease.That is me (center flower above), standing tall, putting forth all my color to get through chemo...
my bloom will wither as surgery comes...this picture was taken the other day of my garden and what the flowers look like now.but only to await another bloom after dormancy...I WILL persevere just like the perenial Echinacea plant I chose for the project.
the flowers need to be stitched and the petals added again to the center flower...but those will be last as I will do the "quilting" prior to adding them...to ease the process of machine stitching.

See this other post back in July when i started this project...you can see how it's changed

And this link about how I dyed the silk and did "Silk Fusion" for the base and petals

Create from within everyone!

P.S.
The kids and I are also back on track for working on the Art Therapy project with the dolls (see this post for more info)...Ellie (she will be 7 in Nov) has drawn pictures to tell a story with a beginning, middle and end...and we just filmed a dress rehersal...we realized we need a script...Emily (who is 8 1/2) will work on that...and we will re-tape the dramatic story and I will need to figure out how to upload the movie to my computer...so stay tuned....but be patient.

Chemo cycle 4 update

So here I am in my comfy chair on monday...Brian my crafting buddy escorted me as I am too woozy to drive afterwards...sporting the wig...and bummed you can't see the cute hydrangea bobby I made just for the day...rats...will have to take another pic and upload it later...I sure do look happy...but it's the days after that I don't capture in pictures...scarey!
Brian is making his mom a shall with wool spun by him! It's wool from rare sheep in the UK...i keep forgetting the names of them...rhymes with Scotland...rats, cotland maybe? I'll get back to you on that....sleep deprivation (aka insomnia) and toxins on the brain have me all confused.
I certainly don't need one of these...but I wish i could kick back with a cocktail and relax this summer...new design...do you love it? need to make it in pink for a cosmopolitin and a few more treats...stay tuned...this one went to a special bartender friend that hooked me up with all kinds of wig treats from her aunt's shop, A Special Place.

I just added this pick to use it as a metaphore...feeling like i'm floating alone somedays, but at least I'm moving in the forward direction...right?

Hey thanks to my chemo buddy Sara for this poem...hope she starts her blog soon!

Worthy of My Friends

It is my joy in life to find
At every turning of the road
The strong arm of a comrade kind
To help me onward with my load.

And since I have no gold to give,
And love alone must make amends,
My only prayer is, while I live-
God make me worthy of my friends.
-Frank Dempster Sherman

My tumor...really needed it's own post...kwim?

The journey continues....Breast Cancer...

Invasive ductal carcinoma with ductal carcinoma in situ
you can actually see the lymph node invasion on this last pic towards the bottom right corner. These pictures were taked from my oncologist's computer...not bad...
His name is Dr. Peter Kaufman...he's doing a protocol that I might help out with too...more pictures will follow as I know more.

So, I think I have said it before...this is a 8 cm tumor which places it in the stage III category however...i'm not a dumb woman...I just have 3 busy kids and have a busy life...get your mamogram as early and as often as you can...even without insurance most local hospitals can offer you free screenings!!! Don't be silly...call and do it today!

Update Oct 08 see new results from second MRI post chemo treatment here