So ellie and I took a stroll through the golf course to take some pics for the newsletter...and she took this one...
I suppose if you must know....I'm wearing the HAPPY face...it's keeping most folks fooled....but the sadness is back in spades.
Met with my priest this week with the hubby...it's such a hard place to be right now...wanting him to be there for ME but at the same time knowing he needs time to take care of himself....not sure where it's all going from here...just sad about it all.
My hair is falling out...been that way for 2 days now...it's unnerving...folks are telling me to get a shorter cut...i tried to do it yesterday while at a friend's house...but it's hard to make a friend do it...i can't even imagine how i'd be if this were happening to a close friend...they are great...every one of you...if you are reading this...are great....I have relied on you all so much lately...you are all such blessings.
Really not focused today...just sad...but a friend shared a cool blog with me and I really wanted to share it with you all too..."Mother's with Cancer" it was helpful to read the posts...I don't feel so alone with it all. 
And I suppose I have to remember that I am never really alone...a staff member at my girl's school gave me a medalion today (which was really quite wonderful of her) that has an angel on one side and the words "You are not alone" on the other. I need to sing His praises as He carries me through most days lately. I need to stay positive and live in the LIGHT for that is where I will find peace.Fighting the fight...but feeling weary as it's only just begun.
I know the happy face. I wear the happy face. The surgeons also get to see the "stand up comedian" on her way to surgery.
ReplyDeleteMen don't have a happy face or a "stamp up comedian", why do women?
Stay strong! You can beat this! You look great in your picture. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, so sorry for the sadness! It really sucks, and so does everything you have to go through! As Kelly would say..."Biiiiggg Huuuugggs"!
ReplyDeleteKeep the faith , sistah girl ;)
You are *not* alone, Jodi. Remember that.
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers,
Liz
I couldn't keep up with your blog when I was out of town, but I was thinking of you regularly. Thank you so much for sharing with us when you can.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about the sadness, Jodi. Although it's completely natural and healthy - of course you're sad you have to go through this.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone at all...there are so many of us out there thinking of you and sending you good thoughts and prayers. And we are all fighting our individual battles - it's cancer for some of us and different battles for others of us. But we all know what sadness is and many of us know how hard it is to deal with our bodies seemingly turning traitor on us.
Losing your hair sucks. Mourn it, get a pretty wig, do the full makeup, wear colors that look great on you and move on from that. You do not *have* to be sad about having your hair fall out, because you've already done that.
Make sure your doctors know how much the chemo is making you hurt. Get your mouthiest best friend or relative, tell them every complaint you have and have them talk to your doctor to advocate for you when you don't have the energy.
Be strong and fight, Jodi. Situational depression is tough, because you have a reason to be sad and no one with a lick of sense would tell you otherwise. So give in to the sadness sometimes - schedule time for it - but fight it hard at other times with everything in your personal arsenal. You are so well-loved, and so needed and happiness increases health. Stop right now and think about what you can be happy about, right now. And absolutely dwell on it.
oh jodi {{{{{huge hugs}}}} i am so sorry your sad but lets face facts you have everyright and then some ...i am semding you all of my thoughts and huge hugs and i am always here if you need another huge huge hug!
ReplyDeletehugs a bunch alicia
Hi, Jodi. Nice to meet you, although I hate having to meet you like this. Come back to Mothers With Cancer anytime. I can add you as an author if you'd like, even -- we're all in this together.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, okay? And lean on us anytime.
Your beautiful Jodi!!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Rosie
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
ReplyDeleteTherefore do not lose heart,
Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
For our light affliction which is but for a moment,is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal wieght of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen but the things which not unseen.
For the things which are seen are temporary, bit the things which ar not seen are eternal.
Keep your eyes on the King of Heaven and earth Jodi. Love Kate