September 18, 2008

Chemo #6...ZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!

So after staying up till 2 am with my friend talking and trying to get the roadside assistance folks to come...(see this previous post to fill you in on the story of the lost keys) and then getting up again at 5:30 to try again...ahhh those steroids will do wonders...but i need and miss my sleep...

We finally had help from The Loudon Garage (my own repair man) that we recommended they call the night before....but of course they didn't. So Matt came at 6:10 AM and used a puffy pillow that he puffed up like a blood pressure cuff and pryed the door open and then pushed a long metal arm into the door...the sun roof was open a crack and with those new doors and buttons...he ended up sending the metal arm/hook into the crack to grab the keys...the keys wouldn't fit out the crack but they managed to hit the door unlock button....yikes...what turmoil!

So exhaustion was not even close to what I felt like...she wanted to drive...which was lovey...DH showed up to get the kids on the bus and to watch DD#3 for the day (he took the day off from work) and off we's about an hour and 15 minutes to Lebanon, NH and it was a beautiful clear day. I feel so fortunate to have had chemo in summer in some ways...the extra light helped my mood and the kids out of school helped keep the germs down in the house...I will be more careful this time around though...dd#3 already has a runny nose...and so it goes, summer is almost over, sad but true...

So we got to the hospital and did my blood work...then met the clinical coordinator to my protocol, Christine...I still have to blog about all that...but my boobs get stuck in these holes and they do scans that may help assess how chemo treatment is affecting the tumor in future women that take adjuvent will be a good thing if it all works with good if chemo is started but treatment is non-responsive according to the scan then the docs can adjust the medication regime...anything to assist pin pointing treatment response in a timely manner is a good i'm glad to help. It takes about an hour and a half for all the more to do before surgery.

Then a meeting with my oncologist, Dr. Kaufman. I showed him my aweful rash on my legs and they could be from a bug bites, poison ivy (which is virtually impossible as I don't go into the woods lately...ya' think?) or he said one of the TAC drugs can cause a rash in the torso but maybe I just have an atypical reaction to it. Either way using the steriod cream and now being on oral steroids will help clear it up. And now it's Thursday, and it looks so much better, and so much less itchy. whew!

I walked by this painting in the hospital and noticed it for the first time, I thought it was beautiful...but if you notice it's slightly fragmented, more or less like I feel most days. But the beautiful painting and the nice drive mixed with this beautiful day made me want to share it, RATS, I should give the artist credit...darn, I'll try to remember to go back and look it up when I return to meet with the surgeons next week.

So this is a long post...are you still with me?

Finally we got to the infusion room, I was soooo nauseous by then, maybe from the steroids? I actaully ate scrambpled eggs in the morning before we left too....which is one of the few things I can stomach lately, minimal taste and good protein...I just hate to cook them...the runniness of it all, just grosses me out...*sigh*,oh well, chalk it up to being a high manenance chemo patient.

So my body finally gave out~ they doubled up the anti-nausea drugs and gave them all to me IV, I was afraid to take them orally for fear of vomitting, then I crashed...I slept through most of the perky me, crafting and chatting, no talking up a storm with the friend that drove all the way from NY to take me to chemo...i felt so bad...but this is what it's all about, right?...maybe this is exactly what i needed, maybe it was Gina that helped me feel so relaxed and taken care just rest...I Love You Gina!!! (tearing up here...deep breathing)

So finally to end the final chemo on an Amazingly positive note...I'm a goddess right? all moms are to be treated like amazing creatures right? we certainly deserve it...and my new attitude on this new life of mine is to grab it all and not settle for anything less, life is just too short!
domestic goddess! ballerina? princess?

I need to feel all those things despite being bald, and feeling nauseous and ugly with a cancerous tumor in my left breast. Right? Are you with me??? Are you giggling yet? It's all about mental attitude so just ride this one out and humor me...k?

generously offered to help me commemorate my final chemo with a tutu!!! A PINK TUTU made just in my size!!! She has beautiful items for all ages and of course, she's an EtsyMom!Here I am! It caught everyone off guard and it made me feel silly...but it was a good silly...
it was GREAT!
I lifted my left foot to represent my left side being compromised...gosh do i really have to analyze everything??? That's just the art therapist in me. Pardon the sleepy expression on my face...but glad to document the last treatment this way...thank you so much Stacy! Oh and I hope you like the purple clips I sent to you for your little one too?! Rats, forgot to get a pic, before i shipped them...maybe I'll get to see some modeling shots too???? hmmmm????

So one chapter is finally shut in the book of my cancer journey,
, hopefully FOREVER!!! on to focus on the mastectomy and then subsequent 30 treatments of radiation....and of course the reconstruction that can't happen till next summer...oh this is going to be a long story...

Stay tuned and keep coming back!
(bookmark me for later!)

:) Blessings to you is with your support and my faith in Jesus that all of this seems more bearable...thank you for all your support, I am honored and humbled.


  1. You look beautiful in the tutu. Absolutely amazing! I am crying, thank you so much for letting me make the tutu for you.

    And we love the hair clippies!

  2. Jodi, I think of you often though we have never met. I keep you in my prayers that God will keep you strong and return you to very good health soon.

  3. Congrats on your last chemo! It really is a milestone and you celebrated it well. :) I wore my favorite blue wig to mine. Grins.

  4. Congrats on your last chemo treatment!! Hugs and prayers for surgery and radiation. Hopefully by this time next year you will feel better and be on the road to recovering from this chapter of your life. God is in control!

    Those IV anti-nausea meds are the best thing ever. My little guy gets zofran through his port before chemo, and it does knock a person out lol.

  5. Yay! Your last chemo treatment! You are getting through this like a champ! :) You are still in my thoughts & prayers! You look so cute in the tutu! It just shows you can get through anything with God by your side!

  6. So great to hear you are done your last chemo! Cute tu-tu tu. You have fun friends! Keep up the strength!

  7. Just found your blog through someone else!!!! I'm also going through breast cancer treatments -- Just had number three. mastectomy and radiation will come later, too. It was so good to read through this and to know someone else is going through the same thing!!!!

    I'll be praying for you as you start the next steps in your journey!!!!!


  8. I'm just a stranger sending you well wishes. You are amazing. I've never seen a more stunning ballerina in my life!

  9. WHOOOO HOOOOOO sleep i bet that was as peaceful as the calming feeling of your LAST CHEMO thank you jesus! HALF way there queen goddess ROCK ON! your doing an amazing job jodi keep smiling and sleeping ....we will keep praying for you and your dear family!
    huge hugs

  10. Congratulations on that last Chemo! Doing the happy dance :) I'm always amazed by your strength, courage, and tenacity! You've been so upbeat through all the chemo.

    Forget the bald off those gorgeous legs. Would it be too strange to wear that tutu around town?!**giggles**
    xoxo ~L

  11. Congrats on your last chemo! I stumbled upon your blog and, having been through this journey, I could relate to your comments. In November, it will be 7 years since my diagnosis. I remember going to my last chemo and they wanted to postpone it because my white blood counts were too low. I refused to leave...made them take another blood sample, since it had been a few days since my last test. This was a day I had been looking forward to for 6 very long months and the thought of having to wait another week was unbearable! Lucky for me, they were able to do the chemo. Anyway, good luck to you with the rest of your journey. I'll be checking back to see how you are doing. look absolutely beautiful, with or without your wig!

  12. YOU are AMAZING!!! and you look beautiful in your tutu! What amazing spirit you have...keep the positive thoughts going...yes, I will keep you in mind and pray for positive outcome....keep the faith!
    I'll be back to holla at you often... smiling with you!

  13. You look fabulous in the tutu! Sorry the car turned into such an ordeal! I am thankful you had Gina to take care of you and make sure you made it through the last round~Yay!

  14. YOu continue to be an inspiration! What a FAB way to celebrate! many xoxo's and continued prayers!