So, this week has been crazy...last week of summer vacation for the kids...we had an Ice Cream Social to honor the end of the season yesterday ... a small gathering, that's all I could manage, not like last year...but it was still fun...I totally think I'm the old me, I was exhausted once everyone left, I forget how much rest I need during these chemo treatments even though it's the good week...the week I feel my best, I still get tired.
and school shopping...I have chemo on Monday and will be too tired to do any shopping of the sales after school started up, plus labor day and work...so I took the leap this week...20% off Gap outlet and 30% off Gymboree...just can't resist, emily had to get the hat and purse for the Rockstar line at the outlet today...how cute as she enters third grade...only to come home and drag buckets down from the attic and have the kids try on last years stuff and toss what looked stained and old, and sort what fit, take a moment to feel nostalgic with what they didn't want to pass on to their younger sibling...kids get so attached to clothes...and then clean out drawers...whew, it was a long day...
So, before the day ended I wanted to share what happened this morning.
I got an email that shook me up and reminded me of why I blog and why I share my journey of Breast Cancer.
Today I got a convo via Etsy.com and it was from a fellow EtsyMom which isn't too surprizing as there are over 1300+ of us out there connecting and supporting each other. But this message was a reaching out...to me, a kindred spirit of creativity and scary looking mammograms...someone who met me online at EtsyMom then stumbled back to my blog one day in July (as I was well on my way into hair loss from chemo by then).
She is 44, mother to 4 teens, and just went for a repeat mammogram for her annual check up...a quarter size "lesion" was found. I hope she will blog about her journey whichever her outcome ends up being, as they are going to biopsy her in 2 weeks...such a long time to wait...tick, tick, tick...the mind races as we all wait for those early appointments.
I feel privileged to have meant enough to someone whom I have never met...for this mom to reach out and connect to me, and hopefully not feel so alone in this journey...
I hate being alone.
So for anyone out there that doesn't feel connected to me enough to contact me...this is what I wrote to her...
I know the disbelief you speak of. It's a bizarre feeling...I think I have moments still of denial...the mastectomy looms over my head...denial is a coping mechanism but it will be shattered soon.
I do hope you end up finding nothing...but just in case- you could start searching on the internet for a local option for a second opinion...preferably at a teaching hospital. They (local hospital and teaching hospital) each gave me different courses of treatment. One said lumpectomy (stage 2), the other said under no uncertain terms MASTECTOMY with my option to do a double (stage 3), I wanted aggressive treatment and would drive further away to get it. I am pleased with my choice and my response to treatment is wonderful. Thank the Lord!
I want you to know that I am here if you need anything. This is why I write what i write at the (HappyHouseQuilts) blog, i know there are more women at etsy, etsymoms and in blogland that will be touched like we are. Know whatever your outcome, you will get through this! I hope it's a minor inconvenience for you, that they will investigate via ultrasound, biopsy, lab work and find nothing cancerous. But if they do find something suspicious, you have caught it early! Then you pray for no lymph node involvement and doctor's appointments and procedures become part of the fabric of your week/month. You will now be on the list for more careful checking (either way) which is also a blessing, mine was 3 inches and I wish we had found it when it was a quarter in size.
I have leaned on my faith so much during this time and it is HE that has carried me at times, I hope you have a strong faith as well.
Let me know and keep me in the loop...what's next? biopsy?
blessings to you,
We really never know how many lives we completely touch. But blogging can help touch so many more...sharing is a good thing and I'm so glad to do it.
God bless all those diagnosed with breast cancer today and this week, bless those receiving treatments, those responding to treatments and those not responding. Bless those in surgery when you read this and bless those recovering with drains and missing body parts and many scars (both physical and emotional)...the emptiness women feel...the lack of wholeness...these are all feelings i anticipate and are, I'm sure, part of the whole journey. Bless the caretakers and bless the bystanders, bless the children that don't understand what is happening to their mom, the acquaintances...that offer meals or an ear to listen or just a smile in a store when their child stares at your wig that has become twisted or messed up by the wind.
Blessings to you today and know YOU touched someone's life today but you might just never know how or why...you touched them just by being YOU, and that is what God intended all along.