Wigless

So here I am, the new wigless me...hair is growing back and i'm wearing my favorite sweater...i'm always so cold. I think I might like the hair-do better if it were warmer.
I never want to be bald again...EVER, EVER, EVER!!!

I am so darn tired...I thought I was tired before radiation started...well, this is "can't pick your head up off the back of the couch tired". I keep my happy face on for the kids...but it's very draining. I feel heavy and just going through the motions most days. Plus I got a horrible cold this week.

I want my enthusiasm for life back...i miss that about myself. But this is my journey...I am following God's lead.

I found a new favorite breakfast to eat, the nutritionist recommended it...vanilla yogurt, blueberries and walnuts...oh it's sooooo yummy...every calorie counts and I'm trying to drink ensure during the days too to add more calories to my diet.

I go to see the oncologist on Thursday and hopefully will hear all about my upcoming year of treatment...oral meds or whatever cancer patients do after the big guns of chemo, surgery and radiation.

I heard from a fellow survivor last week that her cancer is back after 4 years...it totally makes me nervous...how long do I have? will the cancer ever come back...??? I know I need to get to 2 years, then 5 and it's 50-50 of getting to 10 years without a recurrence ...Sara will only be 12 and em will be almost 19, ellie 17...they will still have so much life ahead of them...ellie and I have a thing...she says "99" and I say "66" that's how old I will be when she is 66...oh the stories I will tell when I'm 99...I hope they make my hair curl!!!

I am so grateful to all my family and friends for being so supportive...it's so necessary when you go through this disease to have cheerleaders on the side lines...some days it's hard to remember who you used to be.

Oh my skin is itchy...time to take some more zyrtec (radiation causes your skin to burn and itch horribly). The kids are playing pet shop and it's almost time to do reading and hit the pillow...last night we had everyone in bed by 7:30!!! Really, lights out...it was awesome...except I tried a night without my sleeping pill and I was up every 2 hours....but I was able to go back to sleep!!! I consider that a success!

Blessings!