Ice Storm and Hot Flashes

So here in NH we had the worst ice storm in a decade Thursday night into yesterday. Our town lost power and we lost power for over 24 hours...it was cold and the kids were home from school.

To see more beautiful pictures from ice storms ---> click here<---
Thank you to Dave Delay from flickr for permission to use his photo :)

BUT...
I still had my radiation to go to...the childcare that I had set up for Sara wasn't available with the storm cancellations, so my good friend Karen came through for me and took all 3 kids so I could get to my appointment on time. I managed to get gas and a quick stop at Sam's club for some ice melt that the nice employees put into my basket and again into my car for me.

It was a woman older than me that helped me lift the 50 lb bucket into my car...she looked no bigger than me...i felt embarrassed that I couldn't lift it for myself...I feel like a frail, little, old, bald lady...I told her of the mastectomy and she helped me with a grin.

"You gotta' do what you gotta' do, right?" she said.

I replied, "it sure beats the alternative" and we both smiled.

So 3 days of radiation are done and 25 more to go...it's a huge contraption. The whole room is probably worth millions of dollars...and all there for me...to get well. I lay on the table topless and a big arm comes around me, like when you go to the dentist and get x-rays but about 10 times bigger. Then these teeth-like metal plates form a square-ish shape behind an acrylic window with a "heart block" so that the radiation doesn't penetrate my heart. I have 3 "fields" so the arm moves into 3 different positions and I will get x-rays weekly and the tatoos are already permanently marked on my body so the machine can precisely line up each day in the same spot. They tell me fatigue and some sun burn-like skin irritation will occur, but I'm already fatigued...I usually crash by nightfall. I get the hot flashes mostly at night now too. So how worse can I feel?

When radiation was done...I drove home and saw all the beauty and destruction that the storm did. I wish I had time to take some pictures but then I gathered up the troops packed a few bags and trotted off to my parents house (as I thought they had power). We got there and of course, like Murphy's Law, power was out there too (they were happy to be in Florida during this whole event!). They have a propane fire place so we stayed and layered up the beds with extra blankets.

It was cold but I still managed to have my hot flashes and I just kept kicking off the covers and taking my hat off, only to then get cold again and slipping my hat back on and burying my face in the covers...by about 4 am the electricity was back on. The morning was filled with chaos with the kids and we were able to come back home as our power had returned too.

I'm beat.

I know of several friends that still are without power, probably till next Tuesday?! I pray that they get power sooner. It makes for a long day with kids...I am so dependent on power...I try to think of what it was like for women 150 years ago when the pioneers went west and 300 years ago when New England was first being settled. Women gave birth in the middle of ice storms and in the dead of winter. I'm glad I live today with medicine and surgery and chemotherapy and radiation...as awful as those things can be...I'm glad they exist.

So President Bush declared NH in a "State of Emergency" which seems like my life lately. I'm tired of being a storm that needs to be on everyone's radar.

But I do appreciate everyone...

and the fact that I matter to so many people. This is part of the gift of Cancer...feeling the love...I feel it every day. Be warm and dry my family and friends.
Blessings to you all.